Bikini Bottom by Tallulah “Mingo” Cord
The students were tasked to craft a story about a famous threesome, be they historical, whimsical, or from the kitchen cabinet. MINGO…takes us below the surface of SpongeBob’s weird world, delivering a clever button of an ending
The last thing I remember is going to bed at 3:00AM after what could have been 6 or 7 hours of doomscrolling.“What is this place?” I think to myself. I had expected the hallucinations to catch up with me after nights with no sleep, and my phone centimeters away from my eyes. I didn’t think a hallucination could be this lifelike. It could very well be a dream, but this place feels so real. I could feel the chill of the water, and the sand below my feet. I had been so busy trying to comprehend where I was, that I tuned out all the screaming in the distance.
“I’M READY, I’M READY, I’M READY!!”
And there I see him, a bright yellow sponge. He has the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s about now that I realized I was just standing on the walkway, I need to go talk to him, I need to talk to SpongeBob.
“SpongeBob!” I project my voice as much as I can.
“Oh hey! I didn’t see you there. Do I know you?”. When Spongebob speaks to me, I see he has buck teeth, a Krusty Krab hat, and he wields a spatula.
“No you don’t, but I know you.” I said while also wondering how I can breathe and speak underwater, “I am from the surface, you know where Sandy used to live.”
SpongeBob is visibly taken back. He is clearly wondering how I am able to breathe underwater. Me too SponageBob. Me too. After some introductions, SpongeBob takes me to his workplace, The Krusty Krab. I notice just how starved I am when I smell the kitchen, SpongeBob understands immediately what I desire. He quickly whips up a Krabby Patty, on the house. I take a bite and it is heavenly; it’s down right ethereal.
“I have never had anything this delectable in my whole 14 years.” My comment makes SpongeBob light up.
“I’m happy you like it!” He said very cheerfully.
The restaurant doors slam open, and Squidward steps in with a gloomy face. From the first appearance, he seems depressed.
“SponageBob, you know we aren’t open to customers yet.” Squidward says in a monotone voice with a hint of annoyance. SpongeBob is oblivious to it.
“That’s my new friend!” SponageBob said to Squidward. I can feel the tension, and to break it I make a remark about the clarinet.
I see Squidward’s eyes widen, “Do.. You play?”
“Umm, I don’t but I have always thought it is the most beautiful instrument.” I exclaim while trying to butter him up.
He takes his clarinet out of his comically small pocket, I don’t know how that works and I was scared to ask. He plays me a small tidbit of the song he was just learning.
“Color me impressed!” I utter. I see a small smirk on his face as he walks away.
I hang out in the kitchen with SpongeBob for the whole day, and then I walk home alongside SpongeBob and Squidward.
I’m not shocked when I see the array of houses. Frankly, they are hard to miss.
I see a pink starfish running right for me, I evaded him just in time. SpongeBob gets tackled to the ground in a big hug from Patrick. I look at Squidward then back at Patrick and SpongeBob. I introduce myself to Patrick, I quickly figure out that he isn’t very bright.
“IS MAYONNAISE AN INSTRUMENT?!” he asks Squidward, “PLEASE I’VE BEEN DYING TO KNOW!” It is apparent that he has had this question the whole day.
Squidward replies to this by walking away, into his bungalow. It’s just SpongeBob, Patrick, and myself now.
We spend the rest of the day regaling each other with stories. They are surprised when I finish their sentences.
“How do you know what happens in the story?!” Patrick screams in frustration.
“You’re on television.” I try to dumb it down as much as possible, but they both don’t seem to grasp the concept.
A thought enters my mind, I begin to search frantically. I turn around. And I see a whole dang camera crew filming us.